Nothing lasts forever.
The job you love now, you will one day outgrow.
The life you live now will evolve.
Even if you resist the change, the world around you won’t.
Nothing is stagnant.
When I feel something is true, I look around at nature. Even flowers don’t bloom all year.
But, I get it.
It’s a scary place to be when you’re in the process of change. When you are no longer who you are, but not quite who you are becoming. It’ ‘s tough to let go of one identity especially if you’ve had success in this space.
It was at the peak of the pandemic when I decided to quit my career.
As one of the first plus-size models in the UK and having worked solidly for 10 years, I felt in my soul, that my work was done here.
The industry had changed. I had changed.
I knew my craft inside out and wanted a new challenge. But I had no idea what the next thing would be.
HUMANS DO NOT LIKE CHANGE. But change is inevitable.
I guess it’s a survival strategy, it’s better to know what’s ahead than to live in a constant state of the unknown. The crazy thing is, we can never, ever, secure the future. All we have is now and even if we plan everything to the nth dress, risk proofing it all, anything can happen that throws a spanner in the works.
An experiment by UCL found that uncertainty can cause more stress than pain itself.
In a study, 45 volunteers played a game in which they had to overturn virtual rocks. They were then asked to guess whether or not they thought they had a snake underneath them — when there was, they received a small electric shock. It turns out that it’s much worse not knowing you are going to get a shock than knowing you definitely will or won’t.
I get it.
Fear of the unknown makes our bodies and minds do crazy things to avoid it.
Self-doubt and that narrator in your head can creep in with negative comments, ‘You can’t do it, you’re not good enough, you failed, you’re taking a step back’.
To be honest, these voices can sound pretty persuasive.
But it’s our job to realise that our minds play tricks on us. DO NOT listen to everything you tell yourself.
Working through that transitional angst took me down these 3 paths.
- Be a Beginner. Start again and again.
- Be an Explorer. Explore and discover.
- Be a Self-starter. Start. Take action. Fail fast.
Here’s my breakdown of what these meant to me.
Be a Beginner
Being a beginner might feel very uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve attached your identity and self-worth to your role/ job.
But remember everyone starts somewhere, and you might be a beginner in one area but you’re highly skilled in another area, which actually gives you a perspective and advantage to add that some people won’t have.
Everyone is a beginner.
If you’re beginning, you’re upskilling.
Be an Explorer
Exploration and discovery is an essential part of human development.
Let curiosity guide you and lead you to learn from your interests.
Be curious. Be brave.
Step out of your comfort zone and lean into something new and unknown.
I found myself guided by curiosity and growing with my interests.
Climbing up a few different mountain tops will allow myself to have perspective and understanding about what I do and don’t like. Nothing is ever a waste of time as everything is experience.
When trying to overplan the foreseeable future and avoid doing things that ‘waste time’, STOP. Wasting time and letting yourself be guided by your interests is free learning and will lead to outcomes you could never have imagined if your rational mind restricted you from exploring certain oaths.
Don’t think too far ahead. It can become scary and overwhelming.
Walk down a few paths until you find the right one for you.
The right one will be the one you walk down further than all the others.
Be a Self-starter
Dedicate time to you.
Start today. There really is no better time.
No one is you
…and people might find what you’re learning extremely interesting.
The process is just as interesting and important, as the outcome.
We’ve been marketed and always sold the shiny result, the Phoenix through the ashes, the fruits of hard labour. But the ‘how’ is and even the step before that, the ‘why’, is how you kick start working towards your goal.
I remember being little and wanting to knock on the doors of the big houses I would walk past, simply to ask what they did for a living. It was a world very far from the one I was in and I was curious.
That’s where you begin.
Don’t let fear hold you back.
Good luck people!
Til next time.
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